She sat before me weeping bitterly about her current result. Asit was, there was no way slhe could register all her carryovers and pass them unless she spent two extra years in the university. I asked her, “Do your parents know about your result and the fact that you will spend two years extra in school? She said, “No sir; I can’t take this resulthome”.
I have discovered over the years that many parents don’tknow anything about their children’s result in school. Even parents that have passed through higher institutions themselves. They only begin to ask questions when they discover that their children’s classmates are in NYSC rurorm while their own children are still demanding for school fees.
Many authorities are of the opinion that the moral deca on campuses of higher institutions is a reflection of deteriorating family values. Some parents have lost control over their children and when those children get into the campus they become uncontrollable. They expect their lecturer to fear them and get out of their way just as their parents have left them. Many parents can’t wait for their children to get back to school so that they can have peace. The children on their part can’t wait to get back to school so that they can continue to enjoy their freedom from parental interference.
For many parents, the child they send to the campus is quite different from the one the campus sends back to them. The humble, obedient and shy boy you dropped off on campus at the beginning of the semester is returning home with smoke coming out of his nostrils and ears, looking like “the man they couldn’t arrest”.
That responsible and trustworthy girl in V- shaped skirt you kissed goodbye in front of the girl’s hostel is returning with an extra hole in her ear lobes, breasts protruding out of her blouse and low waist bandless jeans. If some parents knew what happens on campus, they would think twice before sending their children to stay on campus. The point is not to scare parents but to help them adequately prepare their children for life on campus and to get pro-actively involved in issues affecting their children on campus. You just have to have some basic information about your child’s life on campus. Example:
-Who are your child’s roommates? (At least know the one that is closest to your child).
-Who is your child’s best friend?
-What is your child’s CGPA? (performance in last examination).
-Create a friendly environment and ask your child who his girlfriend or her boyfriend is (They may not tell you butitis important you ask).
-Which campus fellowship or society does he or she belong to and what are the core values of such group?
As long as your child is on campus, this information may come handy one day. Children are too precious to be left on campus all by themselves; parents must, as a matter their children on campus. What is the essence of your huge of responsibil get interest in what is happening to estment in your child’s education if at the end the child horomes useless to himself or herself, useless to you and the society?
I have seen students taken straight from campus to the rehabilitation programme of the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency (NDLEA). What about the countless number of students whose parents received emergency calls just to arrive on time by their hospital bed to say the final goodbye because of complications arising from quack abortion procedure? Students will always hide some of these things until things gets out of hand then they put their parents on the “high jump”.
Recently, a man walked into my office with his son who used to be one of our students in the Department. The man was in visible distress as he narrated his son’s
predicament. The young man had exhausted his maximumn six years residency in the university and was unable to pass some of his core courses so he was asked to withdraw.
Some of his core courses so he was asked to withdraw. The father came to see if there was any way that his son could be helped. This boy’s case was compounded because he erused to register for one whole session even though the father gave him money for the registration. The boy sat speachless as his father narrated all the emotional pain he had endured because of this son. With sorrow in my heart, I explained Pained to the man that his son’s situation was beyond help.
What is it on campuses that seems to be spoiling people’s children? What has precipitated the moral crisis on our campuses that is deeply atfecting the children we put in there?
It is difficult to explain or analyze but the social climate and prevailing atmosphere of individual and academic freedom is a recipe for producing the kind of students we are seeing. When you gather young people in an environment where:
-there is no supervision from any quarters;
-no restriction of movement in and outof campus;
-rules and regulations are not enforced as they should;
-no institutional consequences for pre-marital s.e.x, live-in-lovers, and indecent dressing;
-no moral or religious instruction to instill the fear of God.
What you get is the moral and behavioral dysfunction most of our students are manifesting.
The age at which students come to campus these days is the stage of their lives that they need parental guidance the most. Unfortunately, this is the period we send them off to be by themselves. At this age they are also strongly influenced by their peers and with no parental figure there to guide, they are certain to learn both the good and bad attitudes.
Training children in higher institution is more than just paying the school fees and sending pocket money. It Want to get good returns on your investment, you must device a way to get involved and demonstrate interest in theirr children’s well-being on campus. You cannot come and live with your child on campus and monitor his or her every move but if children know that their parents will ask questions, they will exercise some restraint.
Dear parents of students on campus, do you know where your child is? When last did you check your child’s examination result? Do you know whether your child is “married” on campus?
Some parents actually do their best to show interest in their children’s well-being on campus but students have perfected the art of pretence, cover-up and secrecy their actions.
Some students even carry out abortion without their parents ever knowing that they were pregnant.
After you have done all you can as a parent, just hope and pray that our child will be among the few students who navigatee through campus’ successfully without earning the negatives aspects of campus life.
How to protect your child from campus corruption
The best way to shield your children from the corruption on campus is to show them love. Especíally for fathers whose daughters are about to enter the campus. When you truly and openly profess your love for your daughter and she knows the colour of true love from home, whenever that guy on campus shows up to profess his own version of love, the girl will know the difference. On the other hand, if the first time your daughter heard “I love you” was when that guy on campus said it to her, then she would naturally be enticed. Children, no matter how big they are, need this assurance of love from parents always.
The children who receive adequate attention from parents will always have better self esteem and manifest responsible behaviour on campus. Some of the immoral and anti-establishment behaviour exhibited by students on campus actually starts from home. A child that has successfully intimidated his or her parents into silence back home sees no reason why he or she should respect
This is a wake-up-call for parents to live up to their responsibility and continue to provide the much needed guidance to students.
The great tragedy in our moral crisis is that it has affected both parents and students. The symptoms of this crisis being manifested on campus are just the tip of the iceberg. The old standards of morality are gone and there is a new liberty and freedom to do the things which God specifically calls sin. There is a significant shift in the understanding of good parenting and permissiveness in
our contemporary society.
If you actually love your children:
-You will care about them deeply, which means that you understand their age, weaknesses, faults, desire for self image, struggle for independence and lack of adultunderstanding and experience.
– You will warn them about the negative influence of campus life. The peer pressure on campus will add to their reluctance to listen to your warning but you must doit anyway.
-You will correct and discipline them. The campus environment seems to programme students towards rebellion and an independent spirit. But you must do whatever you can to prevent your children fromn ruining their lives by making wrong decisions.
After you have done all these as a parent and your child leaves home for the campus, you have done your bit. It is the responsibility of that child to conduct himself or herself in the manner the parent has brought them up.
You are on your own on campus. Your parents may be far away from you but if you area sensible child, you will remember the type of home you are coming from. The inability of some students to recognize the social and economic level of their parents is the reason they join gangs or adopt a particular lifestyle on campus.
One very clear case happened in a university in the western part of this country. A young male student from a humble background was in love with a girl from a rich family. They were both studying the same course at the Same level. During one examination, the boy observed that the girl was absent, so he wrote the examination for the girl after he completed his. The lecturer discovered this malpractice and reported to the examination malpractice committee and both students were expelled.
The girl’s Prents quickly sent her abroad to complete her studies the boy remained at home for a long time before he got another opportunity to go to another higher institution. After parents have done their own part which ensure that their parents’ huge investment in their taking special interest in their children’s academic and life in school, it is left for the student to reciprocate being serious with his or her studies and ensure that their parent’s hug investment in their is not waste.