Campus Marriage usually trend around the off campus where a student of opposite gender leave in the same room or being in illegal relationship against their families wishes. I saw one car sticker a, long time ago which read:”Don’t laugh at my car, your daughter may be inside”.
Anvtime I think of that car sticker, I şay a,quiet prayer for my three daughters. Can you itagine that you’sent yöur daughterto school to get education & she went to campus and became somebody’s wife?
In the late eighties when I was at the Universityof Jos, a girl lived permanently with her boyfriend in Block A Naraguta hostel. The boy’s room was just four doors away from mine. Whenever she was goimg to take her bath, her, boyfriend would stand at the door of the bathroom and beg his fellow male students to wait till she finished bathing.
With the accommodation proplem ‘in many,higher institutions, cohabitation of male and female students has become very rampant. Either the boy pays for the room and accommodates the girl or vice versa. The only difference this has with normal marriage is that the boy has not paid Onde price to the girl’s parents. The lady cooks, washes, performs all the duties of a wife. Is it surprising that an unprecedented number of campus girls are on one raceptive or the other?.
In those days at University of Jos, there used to be a competition for best “campus couple”, it was called cosmic couple. A boy sent to school by his parents to study would take a surrogate wife in the name of boyfriend -girlfriend relationship and they would compete to emerge as the best lovers on campus.
The cohabitation of male and female students on campus or in students’ settlements outside campus has come to stay. The consequences of this type of relationship or arrangement on the students’ emotional and academic well-being can not be over-emphasized. The financial implications for the breadwinners in this type of arrangement are huge.
Unfortunately, the school
authorities are only concerned about students in the university hostels, therefore, they cannot legislate against or regulate campus marriage. Many parents on the other hand do not bother to check or take interest in where their children live; all they do is give money so their children can rent accommodation.
During the Nigerian Universities game (NUGA) held in University of Benin 2011, I went to visit a colleague daughter who was residing off- campus in a community closed to the school. To my amazement, an apartment would be rented to both male and female students. Room 1 would be rented to a male student and Room 2 would be given out to a female student. They all shared the same corridor and mingled together. Having schooled in the north, I was seeing this type of arrangemer for the first time.
This is the type of situation that fuels campus marriage. There are many higher institutions Nigeria that are non-residential, students are expected to cater for their own accommodation arrangement. However you do this is your own business.
One particular case that I was aware of happened about nine years ago at Benue State University, Makurdi This boy was intelligent but had financial challenges in school. The girl was also among the top fifteen in the class but was well off, and lived in a two bedroom apartment opposite the campus. The girľ’s parents were in petroleum business, so the girl had money to spare. When the affair started, the boy would pass one or two nights in her place once in a while but he later moved into her apartment. She sometimes had to pay for the boy’s registration and settle his other bills. Everybody thought that this campus marriage would later metamorphose to real marriage but after graduation, the boy disappeared into thin air.
When I ran into this girl recently while she was registering for a postgraduate programme, she told me the boy is now married. She said she has no regrets but wonders how men could be that callous.
Some of these campus live-in-lover arrangements have serious psychological and emotional burdens.
I heard of a girl recently who was cohabiting with her boyfriend. The boy brought other girls into their “matrimonial home” and if she dared complain, she received the beating of her life. She was stuck to this guy because packing out meant a mid-semester search for accommodation. This is one of thee reasons some students are absent minded in class: It is very difficult to concentrate on your studies with such “matrimonial” problems on your mind.
From an anthropological perspective, campus marriage does provide some torm of life support on campus.
-At least accommodation needs are met, when one partner squats the other.
-Knowing that the two lovers live together wards off harassment from fellow students.
-Financial and material needs may be taken care of if one partner has Stronger financial muscles.
However, the moral and academnic implications of campus marriage are more serious. Like the pharmacists will say, “The bitterness of cheap medicine will continue to linger after the sweetness of its low prize has been forgotten. In the same vein, the negative consequences of campus marriage will out-live the problems it seems to solve.
Morally it was wroing for two students of opposite s.e.x
to live together as husband and wife, no matter the Mature “of thę relationship they share. It is alien to common understanding and responsibility. Campus marriáge is illegal, to live with a man or Woman to whom you are not legally married to.
Scientific findings have reported higher chances of divorce in couple who cohabited before marriage. Academically, campus marriage is a huge distraction. There is always one issue or the other to quarrel about. How will you possibly concentrate on your studies when you see your campus wife huggingher male classmate, or your campus husband walking hand in hand with his female admirer? Why are you on campus? To be the best boyfriend or girlfriend or to study yourbooks?
The former Vice-Chancellor of Benue State University, Prof. Akase Paul Sorkaa, often said that he regretted that some of his students have to live in huts with thatched roofs scattered opposite the campus.
As you drive along the Makurdi-Gboko road, you will see many of these huts. Don’t laugh at them, your daughter may be living in one of them with her campus husband. This trend will definitely continue becausé many higher. institutions in Nigeria are unable to provide accommodation for their students.
Sometime ago, a mother heard that her daughte won an award in school as the best campus coupłe together with her boyfriend. The mother rushed to the campus the next weekend to park her daughter’s belongings home. Șhe gave the reason for her action that she could not bear the shame.
Rights of students are respected. Once you are on campus you are expected to be an adult capable of taking decisions and being responsible. In most cases, what you do with your private life is nobody’s business. So the choice is yours to make. If you want to move in and live with your boyfriend or girlfriend, it’s your choice, you are an adult. You should also be ready to face the consequences of your choices.
What is your reputation on campus? If your brotheris looking for a good wife on campus, would you recommend a lady who had lived with her boyfriend? Or if your sister is looking for a good husband, would you approve of a guy who had camped someone else’s daughter in the name of the world is a small place; the things you do on being a campus couple? campus might later become a stumbling block for you.